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Lately, my inbox has been FLOODED with emails featuring all these awesome free webinars that hold “the key” to wealth and happiness. At the end of each “free” webinar I’m offered the opportunity to buy their complete program for eleventy billion dollars complete with a bajillion workbooks and if I act right now I’ll also get MP3s guaranteed to help me connect directly to the universe to put in my order for everything I want. Still not convinced? Well, they will throw in a whole bunch of videos and even send me a zip file filled with affirmations and quotes written on cute kitten pictures or a photo of a sunset. Only if I act right now though!

Now, I’m all about positive thinking and affirmations to channel getting the things you want out of life, but with the sheer magnitude of emails I’m getting offering me these promises of my key to wealth, I can’t help but wonder if many of these self proclaimed self-help gurus are just all full of shit and hoping I will buy their program so that they can finally be making the money they claim they already have.

I think I’m going to write a book about how I became a
millionaire and fill it with affirmations and quotes about the Law of
Attraction and all kinds of shit about coaching yourself to wealth and happiness and
sell it for $50 each and promote it as how I made my wealth and then
once I am actually a millionaire from it the damn book will have been
true and I will be a fraud no more!

What do you think? Am I going overboard here? Am I nuts? Or are there just waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many cooks in the kitchen of the Law of Attraction claiming that THEY actually have the key to wealth and happiness and the other cooks stole their recipe?

Okay…this is the end of my venting blog post… Thanks for reading and have a wealth and happiness filled day!

Good
rant! But seriously. Why are there so many coaches out there? I wonder
how many of them are Gen Xers who got shafted out of their careers and
needed to reinvent themselves. Also makes me wonder why so many people
are lacking interpersonal skills, emotional
intelligence, business skills and common sense to the point of needing
paid help? We clearly aren’t teaching these important survival skills in
schools and if parents don’t know the stuff, they can’t pass it on.
And finally, is everyone stressed to the point of crumbling under the
pressure, and without access to supportive friends, getting a coach?
Sorry to hijack your blog, but I really do think about this stuff…

I think about it too Pamela Settle!!! Hence the rant on the blog. hahaha! I agree, there are a lot of skills that clearly are not being taught anymore. Everyone just expects to graduate high school/college and be handed a million dollar payheck. Sorry junior, but unless you are brilliant enough to get drafted by google or athletic enough to get drafted into sports or pretty enough to be in mags (you get my point)…it ain’t gonna happen. That’s why I’m writing eBooks and then know I’ll have to ACTUALLY WORK marketing them to sell them  

This year I turn 30, and at first I was freaking out about this. There are so many things I haven’t done yet. I had this long list of things I wanted to do by 30 and I even started thinking about ways to force them into happening by August 14 just so I could say I did them on time…but I’m done freaking out. I decided I am letting go of my regrets about things I didn’t accomplish. Instead I am just going to keep working on my goals and stop worrying about my age.

Forcing myself to get these things done by 30 at this point would take some of the thrill out of a few of the items on my list. The funny thing is, as I approach the big 3 0 some of the items on my list aren’t as important to me anymore. In fact, some of the items were on there because I thought I HAD to do them by 30, but now I realize- there’s no rush.

My main goal for this year is to be debt free. Having this weight lifted will be a wonderful feeling and I’m looking forward to how free my hubby and I will feel after we pay off that last amount of money we owe. I have a plan to make this happen and I’m going to just stay as positive and as optimistic as possible this year, regardless of the fact that I’ll be leaving my twenties behind…

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I’ve had this question pop up several times since the beginning of the new year: What Would You Do if Money Were No Object?

After really thinking about it I decided I would put it in writing and share it with the universe…

If money were no object, I would be a traveling writer and photographer giving away my time and talents for free whenever the mood strikes. The truth is, I love writing and taking pictures. I want enough money in the bank as quickly as possible so that I can live off the interest for the rest of my life and just spend my days giving away my
time and talent for free whenever I want to.

Source for image above

I have a few regrets for 2013 that I would like to share. It’s not easy to share regrets, but I kind of feel like airing our regrets out is the only way to forgive ourselves and move on.

I regret holding onto anger and sadness for things people have said to me- recent past and even things from long ago.

I regret not working harder towards my goals.

I regret not calling/e-mailing people I said I would keep in touch with.

I regret not spending more time with some of my family and friends. I regret any moment longer that I spent with anyone that I did not want to be spending time with.

I regret not taking better care of myself- including the things I have consumed and my lack of physical activity.

I regret some lies I have told and secrets I’ve kept regardless of the reasons for doing so.

I regret not living more in the now even after I swore I would.

There, I think that covers everything. These are my regrets. Now, I must forgive…

I forgive every single person in my past that has something negative to me or about me. I forgive every single person in my past who has hurt me whether they meant to or not. I forgive myself for bad things I may have said or done in retaliation. I want to go into 2014 with a clean slate in regards to my feelings about people and believing that there is genuine good in folks.

I now forgive myself for not working harder on my goals and intend to spend 2014 doing just that. I will take another look at the things I want in life and spend every day making the dreams into realities.

I forgive myself for not calling/e-mailing and not keeping in touch. I plan on doing a better job of hanging on to relationships and forming new ones in 2014. I will spend more time with people I want to spend time with and stop spending time with those I don’t care to spend time with.

I now forgive myself for not taking care of myself and look forward to going into 2014 with the plan to eat better, drink better, work out more, meditate more and take better care of my mind, body and spirit.

I now forgive myself for lies and secrets and plan to make things right in 2014. I will pay off my debts and free myself of my shackles.

I now forgive myself for not living in the moment. I plan to try harder in 2014 to appreciate every single moment I have and only do the things I actually want to do that will be for the benefit of my wishes, hopes and dreams.

What do you want more of in 2014? What are your regrets? Air it out and then forgive yourself!

Source for image

Yesterday, I came across a letter about Santa Claus that I must keep in mind should I ever decide to have children. The gist of the letter is that a kid asks their mom if she is Santa Claus. Mom’s response? “The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.” Fast forward to the end of the letter and she concludes with, “Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.”

One of the things my husband and I have discussed when talking about when or if we want to have kids is whether or not to have our child grow up believing in Santa Claus. On one hand it feels like deception, but on the other hand it feels like giving our kid the magic we had when we believed in Santa.

The interesting thing to me is now that I have read the letter about Santa Claus, I feel like I can believe in Santa again. “Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness.” Doesn’t that line just make you feel all warm and fuzzy? I personally want to recapture that feeling around the holidays once more.

Read the entire letter about the Truth About Santa Claus HERE.

 

This year I’m hosting Thanksgiving at my place. Last time I did this I got a little stressed out because I did almost all of it by myself. I had to- it was for an article and I didn’t want to “cheat” by delegating out too many tasks.

The good news is that this year I’m not only getting help, I’m using a tip from Food Network to ease the stress… I’m going to be making some of my Thanksgiving dishes ahead of time (tomorrow) to save time on the big day so that I’ll be able to relax with my family. I won’t actually cook anything, but a lot of it will be prepped in advance so that all I’ll have to do ON Thanksgiving is pop the sides in the oven. This will free my time up to focus on the bird and enjoy my family time too.

As an added bonus, I’ve set up my menu and cook station so that everything will be able to cook simultaneously and be done at the same time! How? My bird will be cooking in an external roaster oven leaving my oven free for the sides.

Lastly, instead of roasting my bird in traditional fashion, I’ll be making it in an oven bag. I’ll add a nice marinade to it tomorrow, let it sit overnight and then on Thursday pop it in the roaster oven and “forget about it”. Last time I hosted Thanksgiving doing this was a massive time saver.

Putting it in the bag meant I didn’t have to check it every hour or half hour to baste it. The bag kept all the juices in the bird. The bird also cooks about an hour faster. It wasn’t as crispy of a bird as we normally have, but only one person in our group seemed to mind that. Everyone else enjoyed how moist and tender the meat was. Even the white meat practically fell of the bone. It was so good!

What do you do on Thanksgiving to be able to cook your bird and enjoy it and relax too?

After talking about favorite holiday dishes and pumpkin pie, I could not help myself! I’m enjoying the most delicious pumpkin pie martini as I continue getting ready for Thanksgiving. This is NOT a low fat drink. It’s equal parts of Pinnacle Pumpkin Pie Vodka and International Delight’s Pumpkin Pie Coffee Creamer. I usually do 2 shots of the vodka and 2 shots of the creamer shaken with ice and then strained into a glass. Yum! Pour them into a cosmo cocktail glass like the one below or whatever glass you have on hand. I’ve learned it tastes WAY better in glass than in plastic. I have no idea why.

For added decadence you could use a graham cracker rim and a sprinkle of cinnamon, but I’m perfectly content with just the two ingredients!

This post may contain a link to an affiliate. See my disclosure policy for more information.

 

About five weeks ago I posted that I had gotten a job and that I was psyched about getting steady income…Needless to say, as of this week, that job didn’t work out, but something from that job remains! The first two weeks of pay I received were blown on a weekend getaway with my husband in Key West, Florida…so it’s photos and memories from that amazing weekend that remain. I only wish that we decided to go on a FKF Fishing Charters, leaves from Key West as my friend and the locals here had told me that fishing trips in this area were really good, but unfortunately we didn’t get around to it. Maybe next time..

We went the weekend of Fantasy Fest having NO CLUE that it even was Fantasy Fest. We drank, we ate, we laughed, we had a blast and then we came home…

Why did we blow my first two weeks pay? Well, this was our first vacation alone in several years. We have thought about going on vacation to the UK (or anywhere!) for years. I’m constantly looking for good deals on stratford hotels but we just don’t have the money for it. I can’t believe how expensive flights are! We thought that we finally had steady income and were on our way to being debt free and living our dreams. We were impulsive and we just wanted get away, so we did.

Now…although, I’m no longer at that job…I’m still wanting to be on that fast track to being debt free…How it will happen may have changed, but my goal hasn’t. I don’t regret our weekend getaway. In fact, it motivates me to make more money on my own without the constraints of a job that I don’t enjoy…

I do hope that I’ll be able to get some quick and steady income once again as soon as possible! I have lots of plans and I just need to act on them so that being debt free and being able to have crazy weekends like the one in Key West will be possible!

Okay, I’m going to get back to working on my plans for freedom! Happy Friday and have a great weekend everybody!!! May all of your wishes and dreams come true too 🙂

Have ya’ll seen the insanely offensive resume floating around the internet today?!? In case it gets yanked later, I copied and pasted it below so folks can read it in all of it’s glory. I feel this guys pain considering I was looking for a job for way more than a year. Wow! Just wow. I found out about this on 93.3 FLZ’s website and of course had to go check it out for myself. Enjoy! Source for the original post if it is still up.

Fine, Don’t Fucking Hire Me, You Can’t Handle My Shit

What the fuck people! I need a motherfuckin job, and I have a resume
that says I am fucking fit to be your goddamn front desk/administrative
assistant. I have applied to a ton of jobs on here, and not one of them
responded, WHAT THE FUCK?!Cover Letter? Here’s my fucking cover letter!Now, I’m really low on money, and I’ll suck a dick if I have to…that’s right! I’ve seen Lynda Leigh giving blowjobs and I bet she earns loads. I’ll do the same if I have to!

Got a bear in your backyard that keeps eating your garbage? I’ll fight
that motherfucker and I’ll win! Can any other prospective employee say
that?! FUCK NO! What’d you say? You lost your keys? FUCK IT! I’ll shoot
the goddamn lock off your door with my laser eyes! That’s how bad I need
a motherfuckin job! Your brother is gay and you’re not cool with that?
I’ll de-gay him with reverse buttsex. Don’t believe me?! Then hire me
and I’ll fucking show you!

OBJECTIVE

I need a motherfuckin job.

SHIT I HAVE DONE

-I invented the moon.

-Atlantis was around til 1988, but sunk when I shot out of my mom’s vagina like a silver bullet into a wolverine.

-I am also a wolverine.

-Had sex with the Spice Girls.

-The blowjob machine was originally my idea until that bastard Clint Eastwood stole it.

-I have prophetic visions of the apocolypse.

-Watched the movie “Juwanna Mann” at least 18 times. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0247444/

-Created a new genre of dance in which people get so into it that
radiation waves pulsate off of them, I like to call this the microrave.

-I reverse engineered a door, I now know how it works.

-When I was 8, a frisbee flew into my backyard and I blew it up with my mind.

-My brother is the Eiffel Tower

-Direct descendant of Beowulf

-Can make weapons out of anything, very useful in a hostile work environment

-Beat my addiction to TubeV pornography when I was 19

– Having kicked my pornography addiction, I decided that quitting was for quitters and became addicted to fulltube.xxx movies. I ain’t no bitch ass quitter.

-Proficient in Microsoft Office and Photoshop

RELEVANT WORK EXPERIENCE

GlomGlom Corporation of Evil Doing

POSITION: Front Desk/Administrative Assistant

DUTIES: Setting up sex scandals in which to blackmail wealthy
politicians, forwarding email, burning down the houses of the poor, loan
sharking, answering phones, greeting clients in a manner that would
frighten most people

GreenHate Enterprises

POSITION: Once Again, I was a fucking Front Desk/Administrative Assistant

DUTIES: Organizing the dumping of bio-waste into the ocean, peeing in
lakes, digging holes to fill with garbage, making garbage out of
perfectly good and useful items, filling said wholes with said garbage,
creating fake facts about Greenpeace and publishing them on the
internet(I am internet savvy), good at filing…documents of hate.

REFERENCES

Glomgor Evil

GlomGlom Corporation of Evil Doings

[email protected]

Sloblor the Muck Monster

GreenHate Enterprises

[email protected]

So, now that you know the real me, are you gonna hire me or not? I would
like to remind you that I can make weapons out of anything.

Sincerely,

Steve Madonna

[email protected]

A buddy of mine posted this on facebook. I immediately decided to share with anyone who wants a laugh…Though I don’t recommend actually doing any of these, lol…here are a few ideas for how to start a fight with your spouse”

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift…
The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
“Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”
And that’s how the fight started…..

______________________________

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have Sex?’
‘No,’ she answered. I then said,
‘Is that your final answer?’
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And that’s when the fight started…

________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that’s when the fight started…..

________________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she
kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes”, she sighed,
“He’s my old boyfriend…. I understand he took to drinking right after we
split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
And then the fight started…

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me
that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take
care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more
important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily
snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for
a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, and
when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, “When you finish
cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

________________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, “What’s on TV?”
I said, “Dust.”
And then the fight started…

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and
slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and
proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I
pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the
weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly
undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a
different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”
My loving wife of 5 years replied, “And, can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?”
And that’s how the fight started…

________________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.”
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started……

________________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she
processed my Social Security application..
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office…
She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’
And then the fight started…

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
“I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.’
I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
And then the fight started……


Source for image above